cueball: (Human01)
[At the Graveyard]

[Haha no Scratch isn't crawling out of any coffin. He's going to dirty his clothes, however horrible they may be! He is better than a wriggler, crawling out of the ground. Instead, by his grave there will be a green flash of flickering light. It's not his regular entrance however. The green flashes several times, illuminating the area, and making even weird sound effects that you would hear from a terrible alien movie! However, eventually the green flashes stop and Doc Scratch is now there in his fully black clothed glory!

AND--]


Black isn't my color.

[Yep.]

[Around town]

[After getting over the atrocious wardrobe, he is now on the hunt! Particular for the young ladies, but curse this bad vision of his. Stupid dead moving body. He moves rather slowly though as he finds (and with his hands out like a dumbass no less), but when he does spot someone he'll immediately do the green flash warp thing to get closer and then--]

Ahah!

[Snatch your character and hoist them up! If they flee and get out of his grasp (which shouldn't be hard) he'll definitely try to catch them. If they comply he'll just carry them around, maybe chat until his arms get tired.

And if he realizes that, wait a minute, the person he picked up is a male? He'll drop them down and not even care, giving a half-assed "My mistake" and sulk away. Dude's not a lady.]
cueball: (Human05)
[Phone; Filtered to the Homestuck cast (yes he knows who you all are)]

Delightful news, everyone! Yes that means everyone, Humans, Alternians and even that one lonesome Derse. I was returned my scrapbook of visual paradox space events. Do any of you wish to see pictures from back home by any chance? I have plenty to share in this quite large book and all of you are in it!

[Phone; Open]

Humans, or any creature from any sort of Earth planet, please lend me your ears. What precisely do you all engage in during this season of summer? The dominate planet containing life in my dimension never really had such a scorching hot season. If it did it was a time of fear and danger, as the dominate species is quite nocturnal and sleep during the daytime. Color me curious for answers.
cueball: (Human06)
[Phone]

Everyone, I have something to announce!

I am a Communist. Even if I have little to no idea what a Communist is, even though I am not even from the planet Earth, and even though I am a First Guardian who lives in an entirely different dimension on the Green Moon of Alternia, I must say that I am a Communist! I never quite realized that until now.

Doesn't make sense to you? Well, don't worry it doesn't make much sense to me either! And I'm fairly sure it's not of my own will either. Have a nice day.

[Action; All around town]

[Scratch has bought himself a EM-202 Megaphone. You know what that means? It means he'll be around town all over today, blasting--]

Attention citizens of Mayfield: I am a Communist!

[...]

Can someone enlighten me on what exactly a Communist is!? I quite honestly have no idea.
cueball: (Human02)
[Phone;]

I must say, for the first time I've ever been part of one of these random occurences of the town deciding to be exceptionally cruel, it seems that the cruelty is coming more from the people in the town than the ones who control it. The people being of course you, whoever you are listening in on this. How many times have people said 'killing is wrong' and 'this is a clear and obvious trap' now, I'm starting to lose count. Why can't people say more cheerful things, like how nice the weather is or that half of the town isn't dead yet.

Or is half the town dead? I doubt you're keeping count, being too busy either hiding in your home or slaughtering others, claiming you did in self-defense, but really who believes you? For then record, I believe you.

Overall I give this a 4 out of 10. I expected a lot more out of a town that apparently tortures us. Really, making others do your own dirty work? Your own prisoners at that. You aren't being very gracious hosts. After I went through all the trouble of filling out that census, hoping for something more shocking. Maybe I'm just getting too old to be exceptionally horrified that people kill other people. Ground breaking news. Next time we'll learn that the color of Earth's sky is blue and that most humans have a lifespan averaged on about 70 to 80 years. Haa Haa.

Keep up in good spirits everyone, there is nothing to fear but fear itself and let me prematurely insert any empty morality filled speech here. You can fill in the blanks, right?

[Phone; Filtered to Touko Aozaki]

You said you were a seamstress once. I have a job for you and I promise upfront compensation for your efforts.

[Phone; Filtered to Charles Fei-Ong]

Good day Charles. Don't try to think how I got your number or that I know you live at 767 Bunker Street, it isn't important. What is important is that I drew you as my next target. I hope you won't be offended if I come over and kill you. Or maybe you will kill me. My omniscience isn't working as well as it should be, so nothing is really certain. Don't take it personally - your luck just didn't come out well on this particular occasion.

If you want to take it personally that's fine too.

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Doc Scratch

March 2019

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